Musings from the Gilly Pad

Friday, November 4, 2011

Do you like everything about yourself?

Ben Crane, a notoriously slow PGA Tour player, speaking words of wisdom.

I've done some thinking about myself lately.  Don't we all, all the time?  I'm convinced I'm on 'Candid Camera.' The public gets to witness me trying to steer through the chaos of life!  I am here for your entertainment, world!  While other very diligent and well layered moms are busy getting their kids to places they're supposed to be in order for them to grow up to be the people that other people think they're supposed to be, I'm just sort of chasing my tail.  I just don't do so well at logistical things like meetings, reading or deleting emails, and remembering the last location I dropped off each kid.  One year I submitted a disclaimer to my kids' teachers:  "Hey!  I'm (CharlieBenLaurian's) mom.   I'm not very organized, and I appreciate reminder emails because chances are, I never read the first its entirety."  Set their expectations low, there's less disappointment.

"Do you think I want to be this way? 

In a word: "NO."  I don't like all the stuff of me, but I know who made me (and you), so I live with a sense of confidence that He has a pretty good handle on things.  He created us all in His image.  Red and yellow, black and white, we are precious in His sight!  God loves His creation and all of His creatures.  Everything went wonky in the garden when Eve thought she knew better and all Adam could do was blame-shift.  Since then, we've all had quite a time, haven't we?  And I emphasize ALL.  We ALL inherited the stain.  We're all more prone to do the selfish thing before we do the right thing.  Thankfully in the garden, God made a promise to never leave us, and a promise that He would make right what man had wronged.  And therein lies my confident hope!  By faith, I have confidence in a hope that will be realized.  I know with absolute certainty that I'm going to mess up royally and often...and so are you!  Why are we ever shocked at the ways of others?

"Do you like everything about yourself?"

When a golfer's pace is slow, it throws the rhythm of the other players out of whack...that's what my husband tells me, and I believe everything he says.  (heehee)  Maybe it throws others off because while pausing, they're forced to actually use their noggin to think about things like their swing, their last shot,  the next shot, the ball's lie, the direction of the wind, the sun in the sky. I know for me, when I pause long enough to examine the stuff of me, I'm much more willing to have mercy when it comes to the stuff of others.  No, I don't like everything about myself, and you probably feel the same about yourself.  So surely humility and mercy is the only response to this attitude.

Maybe Crane's rhythm of slowness is to his benefit.  The stillness of quiet solitude is the only place to honestly think and understand who we are and what things are really important.  We tend to busy ourselves with our kids, jobs, shopping, doing or watching sports, even religious activities in order to avoid the reality of who we are and what drives us.  Philosopher Dallas Willard emphasizes how essential solitude is by saying, "You learn how God works when you don't work." God gives us mercy and expects us to be merciful to others.  That transforming work enables us to try to see others the way He sees them.  And then what changes?  Our attitude!


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