Musings from the Gilly Pad

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Thoughts on regrets, life, death, and a dose of reality

I had in mind to write about things that kept me up last night, like the fact that I had a moment of utter joy when I saw the face of my daughter when I picked her up at carpool.  I've been sick, so her daddy has been doing the afternoon carpool. (He's the man! No, he's The Gilly!) I was in his car, but when she realized it was me, you would've thought that she had just seen Justin Bieber!  O, quit being judgmental...who did we have?  Shaun CassidyAndy GibbRalph MacchioScott BaioJustin Timberlake!

Laurian's room
Anyway...I had many thoughts on how we parents both celebrate and mourn the fact that our kids grow up.  Is it because we know the harsh reality of life that they'll experience with age?  That the more they know, bits of innocence are lost?  Or is it that there's an underlying sense of regret that maybe we didn't do all we should've done - not FOR them, but WITH them?  I have tears now...lack of sleep...I'll try to get to that one later.

Because I couldn't sleep, I read an article from the Wall Street Journal online about Steve Jobs, soon after he died.  I encourage you to read the entire article.  It's really good.  This, in particular:
Yes, I let my kids decorate their own rooms. 
At a Stanford commencement address, Jobs states, "No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It's life's change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now, the new is you. But someday, not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away."

Well, somebody pass the Bordeaux!  I'm all warm and tingly and wish to celebrate!  Yeah, not really.  Where is hope is that?  Where is life with meaning and purpose?  But it's the comment, "No one wants to die," that sent my heart and mind into a tailspin.  I won't expound on it here, but I want you to think about this, too.  There is truth in what he says here, if we are honest.  Could it be because we've been given a life, right here, right now, that does have purpose?  Is our time here in this world meaningful in the historical narrative of life?  Is there a design and order to the fact that we're here, right where we should be because our Creator  and Author of Life has promised us life and life  That this temporal life is part of His master plan of redemption?  The fact that we have the possibility to even experience pleasures such as the smell of a baby's head, the touch of our lover, the beauty of a sunset, good wine, and good conversation are pretty solid reasons enough that what happens here in this world matters, and that we actually celebrate being in His Presence in this world!  He delights in our pleasures!

Micah 7:18  "Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance?  He does not retain his anger forever, because He delights in steadfast love."

Those pleasures are but a foretaste of what being united to Him for eternity brings.  It is possible to experience heaven on earth, to a limited degree, and depending on if you view heaven as a place in the clouds or if you view it as an eternal reality, as described in God's Word.  (I encourage us all to go to His Word and examine it's's a good, good word.)  Could it be that those of us who do, in fact, long for the new heavens and new earth don't want to die, because dying is not natural?  Humanity wasn't intended to experience it.  We were created to live in perfect relationship forever.  Wanting to avoid pain and suffering is not for a lack of faith, it just is what it's painful and we'd rather avoid it.  Sure, there is fear in the unknown of the "how" death may take place and how it would affect those left behind.  And there's certainly unbearable pain when we experience the absence of those we share our life with.  But there is no fear in the "destination" (Jobs' word) in the life of the redeemed.  Our Creator brings us to Himself, we're made whole, and we pleasure His Presence and the presence of loved ones gone before us, for eternity.  Just think about comments or questions...I'm no expert, and I certainly don't know all the answers.  I'm just thinking. dead bolt was stuck:(
Getting back to a day in the life at the Gilly Pad!!!  Reality of now! I was going to write more on both of these topics, but for now I only have broad brush strokes.  I'll have to contemplate the details for a while.  Life...REALITY!  That active, meaningful, purposeful life of mine gets a shot of chaos every once in a while, and I just wanted to let you in!  I put out a small kitchen fire and learned all my little ol' self how to pick a dead bolt lock by 10 a.m. this morning!  I feel like a dirty little criminal, AND I LIKE IT!  I feel empowered and I have impressed even myself!  It's "Yea for me!" Day around here, folks!  Check it out!
After finding the right tool, it sort of all fell off.
It's a bad, bad back door, folks.  It has been for years.  But there are more important expenses to take care of right now.  I color my hair often because I get bored, I want a Vitamix (or whatever) for Christmas (so I can throw a bunch of junk in there and drink my meals...moms don't have time to sit and eat during the day!), and we likes the red vino around here.  Priorities.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, welcome to my pleasure-filled life at my home!  You see the little lock at the top of the door is what we have to use to keep the door closed.  It's great as long as you don't need to get in.  I couldn't this morning and I thought Chad may have locked it with the deadbolt.  I don't know why though, because he doesn't even know that our house key actually fits in there.  I only found out about a month ago!  (We've been here 7 or 8 years.)  I turned the dang thing and it that's what got me into a pickle this morning!  No fear, I dare not ask for help when there are tools to be used!!!

So this is how I've patched it up for now.  It's a little racey, huh?  It works.  However, from the look of the exterior "door knob" (picture below, now that's some home-cookin') and the window I taped up a few years ago, I think we're sinking to a new level of red. 

I came up with this little contraption after I paid two different people to install a proper door knob.  I really like it, especially my arrows telling the kids which way to turn the, uh, knob!


  1. Leigh, So glad you friended me today so I could read your fascinating blog! I like the way you think (you are wrong in the right way). Hope to see you soon. Liz

  2. Well, Chad informed me, "Babe, this isn't picking a lock, it's completely disassembling it...destroying it, really."

  3. Leigh, Such a sweet Laurian moment. I see those getting fewer myself. I know it's normal / healthy, even necessary to lose one's idolization of one's parents, but being the coolest, most wonderful person in the world to my girls is pretty neat, even if it is completely inaccurate. I am going to miss that. I will take some time and savor the moments as they come.

    And yes, I'd call that disassembling, rather than picking ;)